EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK EEEEK EEKEEEEEEKEEEEK AND EEEEEEKITY EEK! IT'S NEW YEARS EVEEEE BABYYY!! :D :D :D
I honestly thought this day would never comeee. This year has gonee so s-l-o-o-o-w-w-w-w-w-l-y-y-y. I've made many mistakes, done things I regret, many I'd rather forget, somethings I wish I'd left unsaid, some things I wish I had said instead, things I wish I could do over again. I've met new people, lost old friends and family, there's been tears both from heartache and laughter, lots of picture and exam taking, birthday celebrating, horror-movie-watching, train journey-ing, hand holding, drinking, laughing, lies, tears.
This year was the best, and the worst, but just another chapter in a book of mine that I like to call life.
There were mistakes made so lessons could be learned.
So bring on the partaaaaaay into 2010; another year older, another year wiser :) Less mistakes, more laughs, more pictures, and more CLASSIC times with the Punjabi 4. To the rest of y'aaal: I love you and Happy New Yearrrr. :D xxx
Despite having no money to spend on the sale when I met sonia today, I did seeee an awful lotta lovely stuff that I need, well want, to buy that is actually within my price range :) so I came home, got some money from the fammm and am going to attack those sales tomorrow :D Christmas was awesome, had a lovely timeee with the famfamalamlam that I hardly get to see, which was lovely :) and we also saw some UFOs, I kid you not. Yes i know you think I'm crazy, but how else can you explain orange squares that fly in perfect arcs across the cloudless sky and then just disappear!? -.- it was eventful, to say the leastttt.
HMPRGH. Is my current feeling. Despiteee being in a loveeerly chirpy mood, I do find it reaaaaaally irritating how I never want what's right in front of me. And I'm beginning to think this isn't my fault, because I never actually get what I want, just everything that I don't want. And it's frustrating, because 9 times out of ten the thing that is right in front of you is practially perfect, and there's nothing wrong with whatever or whoever it is, but you just, don't want it..And what you do want is completely uninterested or unaware. Why do people do this!?
W H Y .
hencee, hmprgh.
oh wellllllll, never mindddd ehh. I just wish something would work out in my favour for once. Some people really do have it all in life, just like that. But I guess you have to make the most of the cards your dealt, otherwise you lose at this game of life.
I HAVEN'T BEEN UP THIS EARLY SINCE I WAS LIKE, 8, BUT I'M SOO EXCITEDDDDD!!! :D
-well actually, I've been excited about christmas for about four hourss.. well tbh it was more or less since one when people turned up at my house and a bottle of something was openened (I have no idea what but it tasted fruityyy) and tequila shots were made and a Jay Sean album appeared para miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :D loveeeely stuff. I couldn't open the rest of my presentss; well obviously. I mean it was only 3 in the morning. But now it is SEVEN THIRTY and everybody should be uppp :) or at least they soon will be when I start blasting up "BABY ARE YOU DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWNN" which, I hasten to add, alan hates, so that outta wake him uppp :)
IT'S CHRISTMASSSSSS DAAAAAAAAAAY GUYSSSSSSSS!
...ouch. I just opened my front door with the intention to go get some waterrr and fell over my stocking. urmm.. :|
Anywhoo.. I'd like to advise the following: Don't kiss to many peopleunder the mistletoee ayteeee ;) Hahaha no but seriously, eat to you hearts content, slob in front of the tv (once you've helped out here and there, ofc ;P) and watchh complete trashh, listen to some good old tuuunees and have a laugh with those closest to you because this is the only day when it actually isn't frowned upon to do so :)
I hope you all getwhat you wish for, and have a very merry christmass :) xxx
I apologise in advance for the possible spelling mistakes - I'm doing this blog by candlelight, which is actually rather romanticccc :) I am however, alone, which is not :\ and I would also like to say hi to Alex, who reads my blog/stalks me, so thanks for that (:
- SO it's 12:30am exactly on the 24th of December :)
But before I get onto that, I'd likeee to thank the now 17 year old Matthew Aaron Desmond for last nighttt; it was an awesome night, thank you loveeey :) It was immensely funny to see you break your own front door.. not so funny to find out how you got ripped apart by your rents :\ I did however, break my 'I'm not drinking anymore' policy.. nevertheless, that'll start in the new yeaaar :) Secondly, I DON'T UNDERSTAND how the most, is how the person who is like, the complete opposite of who I'd like and who I'd go for is like someone who is totally on my mind -.- Mnehh. Maybe it's the alcohol that hasn't quite worn off yet :\ LOL.
I'm also so immensely excited, because it's about a week until the end of 2009. And I cannot express how long I have waiteeeed for this moment. I can't honestly wait to see the end of this awfully long and tiresome year. Although I have to say, a few lessons have been learnt along the way, and I honestly swear never to make the same foolish mistakes again. :) I have also learnt that Sex and the City actually provides people with immensely liberating advice, regardless of what people think. I have also decided to not tell that boy I like him as I previously said I would; some things are better left unsaid in my right mind. Better not ruin a perfectily legitimate friendship, I learnt that the hard way.
So what else.. well, it's christmas day tomorrow :D Tbh I do wish I was a little more excited.. because at this present moment in time I couldn't be further from it. But nevertheless, I have decided to spend this christmas con mi padreeeee :) which outta be nice, I hope. BUT considering he doesn't have a house since he sold it last thursday, this meanssss spending it with a few, naaat so close family members, which tbh is a little FML. Oh well :)
Yes I know this is New York, but c'mon, we all know it looks better than England, so let's just accept it. :)
~ Well anyway, this isn't going to be a long blog, I have to get up early tomorrow :) I leave you with my new found love, and a very merry christmas eve :)
I had a starbucks and a bag of books (I had been nerding in the library, ya see), and the traffic was solid and everyone looked grumpy and I just skipped along with a grin listening to James Morrison.
EEEEEEEEEEEK is all I can say. It's so close I can almost taste it :)
I'm actually so excited, you know when you're anticipating something that's actually quite a while away and requires a lot of work in the present to get to, and then something just triggers off immense excitement and makes you want it to come a whole lot faster? Well if you don't, that's how I'm feeling :D Let's not question and just accept :) One slight problemo.. I do wish it was a little colder :\ I can cope in a jumper.. Nevertheless everyone else seems to be complaining about the cold. Anyway, I'm off to wrap my mummsies present before she comes home :O and so I leave y'aall on this snoweeeey eveeeenin' with a few tunes :)
and EEEEEEEEKKK!! :D xxxx
^ I did get funny looks skipping along singing this :$ :)
TWO BLOGS IN TWO DAYS :O I'm getting better at this :)
Hahahaa okay, so AMAZING news; WE BROKE UP FROM SCHOOL A DAY EARLYYY :D cos ya see, tomorrow has about a 60-80% chance of snow, which means, SNOW DAY, which means effort for people to come in so today was the last day of term insteaad :) mmmmhm.
Now, I've decided to write up my new years resolutions, and add to them in the remaining days of 2009 :) And I cannot tell you how good it feels that there are only 14 more days left to this veryyyy, verrrrryyyyy long year.
But here goes :D
2010. :) Be less emotionally attatched Drink less alcohol (no matter what zan says i will do this.) Substitute coffee with green tea. Alternatively, get more sleep. Take a more laidback approach to things :) Don't stress as much. Try something newwww. Do something I've always wanted to do Argue less Be more calm Be less sensitive Go to the gym at least once a week Appreciate what I have more Be nicer to my rentss.. Be more open with what's on my mind rather than keeping it all to myself Have more self confidence and belief (okay maybe I should be more realistic) Work hard Take up those art classes Read more Tell boy I like him(I may do this before the new year.) Control moods more and warn people when I'm pissed off Stop taking things out on people Stop being a pushover ..But don't be to headstrong Find a balance in life Follow my own optimistic advice that seems easier to share with others Take more risks Take every opportunity - you'll regret it later if you don't Don't make the same mistakes Don't fall for the same people Give blood Get an organ doner card SAXOPHONE. (I have to admit this is turning more and more into a "to-do" list) Slow downnnnnn sometimes Don't lose all hope and think I'm a failure just because something's difficult
And that'll be all for now :) I'm also open to suggestions, so comment below :)
YESSSYESS: I know I haven't done a blog in ages, but schoolwork has actually become my LIFE. When I hear people lower down the school complaining about work, I think, 'You have no idea :|' But enough small talk. Tonight was the Whitgift Charity show, and the first night of this entire winter term that I have had no work, so I'm tucked up in bed with a hot chocolate and have finally decided to come entertain you deserted people whilst winding down to some NerinaPalot :) The charity show was actually really good, the smoke machine which set off the fire alarm aside that led us to stand in the rain whilst the fire brigade came to make sure the school wasn't burning down ¬_¬ .. but that was good :) It also started snowing today, which makes me think that this Christmas, which is 9 days away, NINE FRICKING DAYS, may actually be a white Christmas :)
Hmm.. what else..
Oh yes;; why do people who always mean well by there actions and only do things because they care end up being the ones who get the blame and are criticised, whereas had they not done anything the same would have happened for the reverse reason.. or when all you do is put people first before you and constantly look out for them, yet they say you put them last. You can never win really. Another question on my mind is how some people are free to criticise others but fail to look at themselves. And how people outta be more opened minded about situations.
What I have cunningly compiled over the past few weeks are a few New Years Resolutions.. but I'll save that for my next blog. WHICH WILL NOT BE IN MARCH, or some ridiculous time span from now. I think one of them should be: update blog more often..
Mmmkay. The remainder of this blog is going to be another one of those deep filled thought provoking things that I've learnt over the course of this year.. but until next time, which will probably be some time on friday, peace out. :)
Clichés are funny things. And by clichés, I don’t mean the “once upon a time” kind of clichés, because we all know life isn’t a fairytale. I mean the, “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” type clichés. To begin with, I guess they were simple pieces of advice people shared with one another from personal experience, and now, they’re so overused in everyday conversation one way or another that they’ve earned this glorious title of a cliché. But I don’t think it’s because they’ve been overused – I think it’s because as humane as we are, we never cease to make the same mistakes over and over again, one way or another, and no matter how many times we’ve heard it, we still go ahead and do what we want to do only to look back later with a “what if” or an “I wish I had.” But that’s the thing – you can’t - you should have done then. And stubborn and as headstrong as we are, we then have the immense difficulty of letting things go.
Don’t get me wrong, some people find letting go of stuff as easy as making a cup of tea, but the rest of us find letting things go harder than rocket science. As true as it may be that you can only learn from your mistakes, and perhaps your mistakes are what make your fate, but WHAT IF, (see, I’ve used that twice already), we simply can’t accept these mistakes we’ve made – then what? We’re stuck in a continuum of realisation that, a few months down the line, makes us wish they hadn’t spent so much time regretting the past that has in turn caused missed opportunities in the present which leads to more regret and so on. And that is the source of this – regret.
It doesn’t even sound like a nice word. You know how you can sometimes get words that, nice though they may sound, have a sinister meaning, like.. sinister. Well, regret doesn’t fit into the category. And rightly so, because it is a horrible thing. It keeps you awake and night, going over and over scenes in your mind that make you feel worse and worse the more you think about them. What I think makes them worse is the fact that regrets are often to do with people, not so much that shirt you bought last week. It’s more the person you never said goodbye to, the person you lied to and so on. Often, this regret turns inwards to personal blame, as if the fact that they are no longer here is your fault and you could have done something to prevent it. Or even simply, “if only I knew”. And that’s the thing – we don’t know. The only thing we do know is what’s here, right now, this very second. We cannot tell what’s going to happen tomorrow, and we cannot simply assume that every single day is going to be the same as the last, though it often is. People come in and out of your life for one reason – to teach you something about yourself, or the world around you. Nothing else. And they don’t stay forever – everything ends sooner or later (preferably later, in my case). That’s what people fail to realise – the second something begins, it’s only a matter of time before it ends, and is taken away from you just like that, and you have to start all over again. That’s the hardest part; waking up one morning and having something or at worst, everything just fall apart, or waking up and realise that thing you automatically do, like text a boyfriend or call a best friend isn’t practical anymore because you’ve broken up or they’re not talking to you anymore; when you walk through the front door and find boxes filled with years and years of laughter, tears and love are stacked nearby. To well and truly turn your back on something is like turning a page in your favourite book which you want to read over and over again, but you can’t. Once you’ve read the words they have to say, they disappear, and you can’t get them back again.
So all you can do is take a chance in life, and hold onto everything and everyone like there’s no tomorrow. If you love someone, never be too afraid to tell them. Put all your heart and soul into everything you do – if you don’t, you’ve given nothing. Realise that things begin so that they can end, but make sure that when it does, you can look back and say you’ve never been happier :)
