Oo we crash into love-filled nights

HAFACKS (L)

So i went to Hannahs houseeee last night and we had an awesome girlyyy jaaammmmm and tinggggg drank and played pool and drank and danced and drank and drank and took pictures and drank and tried to play pool and and it was fucking aweseomeeeee :)

It's currently 11am, I've been up since 10, and I've absolutely fuck all. It's fantastic, this is like the first weekend in MONTHS I've not had to get up and think, CRAMCRAMCRAM REVISEREVISEREVISE. I do, however, get my results back on Monday :\ However, I am also getting my belly pierced on Saturday :) and we break up on Fridaaaaaaay :)

aaaah dear.

So last night, as I was lying in bed a little light headed to say the least, I came to the conclusion that I'm in this situation that I'm really not comfortable with because:
a] I'm wasting my time
b] I'm doing too much
c] This idea I'm under is an illusion.
The last one, personally, is particularly important. So yesss, here I go again: CBEES :)
SO please, please stop clogging up my facebook homepageee. I dislike how often I see anything related to you on it.

I'm going out for lunchlinggs with mi padre laterrrrrrrr, so I'm gonna go have a shower inabitinabitinabit. Although, I find it really quite depressing how everytime I shampoo my hair bits of dye wash out :( I want it permanentpermanent :(

I'm in a pretty awesome mood :)
I do however, REALLYREALLYREALLY want Corrine Bailey Raes new, fantastic album (L) I actuallssss love her. But yes, I'm currently blasting out the "chillinggs" playlist on my windowsmediaplayer (via my headphones of course) which consists of a bitta James Morrison and Colbie Caillat and Jack Johnson and, ofc, the Rae.
Fantaaaaaaastic :)
And no homework.
So really, for the first time in MONTHS, I can call to day, a nice, Sunday jam. :)

I NOW HAVE FORMSPRING.
hit me up :)

I'm only human

okaaay. so a lot and not much has simultaneously occured over this week, and i'm basically going to sum it up in a few words or phrases;

1. This week = FAIL.
I just finished my S1 exam, and let's just say, despite it being probably the easiest paper out of all the maths papers, it was, without a doubt, a fail. I got to a point where I was immensely frustrated and calculated my results instead. 55%. And that was me marking myself nicely and assuming everything I had attempted was right. YAY :D

2. Sleepless;
I've had, on average, about 20 hours sleep this week. And before you think, well that's not bad, thats 20 hours.. people are supposed to get about 8/9 hours a day. how many nines go into twenty? yeah. I thought so.

3. I don't understand;
I hate how something can be absolutely fantastically perfect one minute, and then the next, without any reason or rhyme has just alkfshadioyfhshdg-ed. Grr.

4. Efforttttttt;
well all in all, if you don't make any effort then why the fuck should I? which begs the question, should I walk away from you

5. The past;
It never really leaves you, does it. It's like a shadow, always there. You just don't see it all the time.

6. BDAYBDAY!
Well yes, I am now 17, and I feel old :( I also cannot be bothered to learn how to drive, and am probably the only teenager with this in mind :) LOL

7. AS levels are starting to take over me and my life.
Well I think tbh this week has been a bit of a wake up call to say the least..

8. Cravingsssss
Why are all the things that are bad for you just so damn good

9. Piercinggg
I'm getting my belly piercedededed :)

10. Him
You do my head in cos I don't understand you but you're so perfect and I just dislike youu. I also dislike how you're so high up this list.
And this is getting awfully irritating to colour code.

11. Mohnehhssss
I got me some mohnehsss for my bdaybday which leads me on to..

..number
12. Retail therapy;
Shoes. Dresses. Topsss. Shoes. :)) hello weekend of shopping.

13. I WANTTTTTTT ....
people are never satisfied with what they have. and I'm one of those people. I'd quite like something I want, for once, rather than me getting all the things I don't want. I suppose it is my fault expecting all the bad things all the time tbh but seriously, it'ss getting jarring. I want things to work out in my favour for once.

14. Being irritated at yourself;
It's awful when you have noone to blame but yourself, or noone to share the blame with you, especially if you're subconsciously aware that the things you're doing you will regret later.

15. I want to seee the future;
and read peoples minds.

16. I love Lifehouse's new album, smoke and mirrors :)

17. I kinda wanted to end this longgg list on my age, so here's a thought.
Do you take what's right in front of you, or do you hold out and hope what you really want, you'll get?


OKAY i'm gonna stop there. I find I complain a lot on my blog but probably because I don't like complaining to people. Or at people. However you want to interpret it.

Well yes there we have it.
Anyway.
I've got me some icecream and I'm gonna go and watch the time travellers wife :') <3
adiosss
xxx

mamihlapinatapai,

mamihlapinatapai:
` a look shared by two people with each wishing the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start. `

first things first:
the hairrrr has been dyed :)
it's now a dark cherry reddddyy mahoganyy THING. and for once i've taken quite a liking to my hair :)
second thing second:
it's sundaaay march 14th, which means its mock week come midnight :\
i haven't even opened my spanish folder
i've avoided looking at my stats
and i'm sitting here with my biology textbook open, which i have just glanced at and is actually upside down, and i'm blogging..
aaahh well only mocks ehh :) C's can be encouraging..


nevertheless, grrr.
i dislike how things in life lack explanation or reason. that's all I ask for really, just a little justification and explanation to make sense of why some things are the way they are. And I don't mean "why are we here, how did the universe begin" type answers, although they'd be quite nice too. I mean the, "what happened to us, why do things never work out" type answers. It just makes things easier to accept rather than, "it just is."
WHY.
I don't understand how something can be fine one minute and then completely pear-shaped the next. And yes I did just say pear-shaped :)
Grrr.
I'd love to read people's minds, justttt so I knew ya know. It just doesn't make sense.
I also currently think you, maybe not necessarily you who is reading this but a certain you, are absolutely fantastic and I just want to say so, so I shall write it in my blog like I'm writing it to you. You're like, everything I could ever want in a box with a ribbon on top. Funnily enough, you don't realise this, or maybe you do and you're just being a dweeb in a box with a ribbon on top instead. You say the sweetest things and make me smile. A lot. This is dangerous.
hurumph.
I dislike how I set myself up in certain situations. Whatever this mess I'm wading through right now is, is not gonna "come out in the wash" as my dad would say. Give it time, I suppose. I always follow my heart and carry on but sometimes I think my heart is a bit of a dillusional twat that sets out to get hurt.
But I still wouldn't go about life any other way.

Nevertheless, I'm going to go cram and ignore thisssss.
I just remembered, tis my bdaybday on wednesday :)
I don't want to be 17 :(