mamihlapinatapai,

mamihlapinatapai:
` a look shared by two people with each wishing the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start. `

first things first:
the hairrrr has been dyed :)
it's now a dark cherry reddddyy mahoganyy THING. and for once i've taken quite a liking to my hair :)
second thing second:
it's sundaaay march 14th, which means its mock week come midnight :\
i haven't even opened my spanish folder
i've avoided looking at my stats
and i'm sitting here with my biology textbook open, which i have just glanced at and is actually upside down, and i'm blogging..
aaahh well only mocks ehh :) C's can be encouraging..


nevertheless, grrr.
i dislike how things in life lack explanation or reason. that's all I ask for really, just a little justification and explanation to make sense of why some things are the way they are. And I don't mean "why are we here, how did the universe begin" type answers, although they'd be quite nice too. I mean the, "what happened to us, why do things never work out" type answers. It just makes things easier to accept rather than, "it just is."
WHY.
I don't understand how something can be fine one minute and then completely pear-shaped the next. And yes I did just say pear-shaped :)
Grrr.
I'd love to read people's minds, justttt so I knew ya know. It just doesn't make sense.
I also currently think you, maybe not necessarily you who is reading this but a certain you, are absolutely fantastic and I just want to say so, so I shall write it in my blog like I'm writing it to you. You're like, everything I could ever want in a box with a ribbon on top. Funnily enough, you don't realise this, or maybe you do and you're just being a dweeb in a box with a ribbon on top instead. You say the sweetest things and make me smile. A lot. This is dangerous.
hurumph.
I dislike how I set myself up in certain situations. Whatever this mess I'm wading through right now is, is not gonna "come out in the wash" as my dad would say. Give it time, I suppose. I always follow my heart and carry on but sometimes I think my heart is a bit of a dillusional twat that sets out to get hurt.
But I still wouldn't go about life any other way.

Nevertheless, I'm going to go cram and ignore thisssss.
I just remembered, tis my bdaybday on wednesday :)
I don't want to be 17 :(